I finally got around to watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 over the weekend with my two older kids, one of whom fled the room during the graphic birth scene. There was also a chorus of "Ewwws!" and "Yucks!" when Bella and Edward consummated their marriage.
The fourth installment of the Twilight series felt stilted, as many Twilight films do (though I do have a soft spot for the first one), whereas the book series is simply a fun, frothy read to breeze through. Breaking Dawn Part 1 was about Bella and Edward's wedding and then what happens when a vampire and a human reproduce and the human mother is literally attacked from the inside by her rapidly growing, blood-craving fetus.
However Breaking Dawn Part 2 will likely have an altogether different feel. Instead of wedding dresses and romance, there will be Bella the "Bad Ass," as Entertainment Weekly called her. Now that she's an all-powerful, sparkly vampire, and has a vulnerable kid to protect, she's fiercer than any Ivy League-educated Tiger mom pushing her kid to play the violin for 40 hours without a break. No victim, she.
Plus, the film -- slated for a Nov. 16 release -- centers around the Volturi (a band of enforcers for the vampire world, kind of like a blood sucking Cosa Nostra), declaring that Edward and Bella's child Renesmee (a character with the worst name in history) is an abomination and must be destroyed. Cue the Cullens and the now-besotted Jacob and his pack of werewolves to build more alliances than Survivor contestants in order to face off against the black-hooded Volturi.
Forget the romance in the field of wild flowers that dominated the first two films. This one'll be all brute vampiric force, Edward and Jacob burying their their feud over Bella's affections and one angry, red-eyed mama bearing her fangs.
This week's edition of Entertainment Weekly has interviews with the film's cast, including amusing quotes from Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner about Jacob "imprinting" on infant Renesme and why it's not as creepy as it sounds. (Though it really is creepy.)
After she's the blushing bride in the flowing white dress, Bella Swan, in the first installment of the Twilight series' Breaking Dawn, retreats to an island paradise with her dashing vampire husband, Edward Cullen.
Soon, very, very soon thereafter, Bella becomes pregnant and experiences the fastest gestation in modern cinema. Judging from the newly-released full-length trailer, being pregnant with Edward's baby doesn't suit Bella so well. Somebody give that girl some iron or something.
Thanksgiving Dinner Dysfunction: For the past several years on parenting blogs for which I’ve written, I’ve created and posted a Dysfunctional Family Bingo Card, in whose boxes I inputted various horrible scenarios which you’d never want to occur at your Thanksgiving dinner.
This year, however, instead of a new Bingo card, I’ve created a snarky quiz in which I offer a series of awkward Thanksgiving dinner scenarios, including one inspired by the Betty Draper-Sally Draper gagging on the sweet potatoes scene from the season four premiere of Mad Men. You're asked to select the response which, to you, represents the best reaction to the situation, based on how dysfunctional you like your family gatherings to be, which may depend on how much wine you've had. Here’s my Mad Men-inspired question:
The hostess of the dinner, who made all the food, loudly observes, for all the diners to hear, that your 8-year-old nephew doesn’t have any yams on his plate. “What, you don’t like my yams?” she asks from the other side of the table. “Why don’t you try some? They’re really good.”
a) Your sister-in-law frowns, then says, “Sure he likes them, don’t you Tommy?” Then she shovels some into his mouth as he protests and gags.
b) Your sister-in-law says, “Thanks for asking, but he’s not a fan of yams. He loves your cranberry sauce though.”
c) “That’s right!” your brother bellows, “smart boy! Just like his dad. NO ONE likes yams.”
Betty chose option A at her first Thanksgiving at her new mother-in-law's home, followed by dragging her daughter out of the room and pinching her.
‘Key’ Harry Potter Film Series Moments: In anticipation of this week’s release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (it’s getting good reviews, including an A- from Entertainment Weekly), The Daily Beast has posted what it describes as 13 “key” moments from the movie series. Among those memorable movie scenes: Harry vs Quirrell/Voldemort in the bowels of Hogwarts, Tom Riddle’s diary flashback, Harry realizing in The Prisoner of Azkaban that he had to save himself from the Dementors (he was the one he was waiting for, not his father), the odious Dolores Umbridge’s scarringly evil detention punishment for Harry, the battle against the Death Eaters in the Ministry of Magic which killed Sirius (so devastating for orphan Harry) and the death of Dumbledore. (*sniff*)
Red Riding Hood Trailer (The 'New Twilight?'): While some have likened the trailer for the film Red Riding Hood to “Twilight in a cape,” a writer at the web site Jezebel says she thinks this film, which stars Big Love’s Amanda Seyfried, “looks so much better” than director Catherine Hardwicke’s other big film, the original Twilight movie.
Vampires. A werewolf, actually, a werepoodle. And Daniel Radcliffe’s voice, otherwise known as Harry Potter. All of those elements were mashed together on a recent installment of The Simpsons where Homer was himself turned into a vampire after Lisa was romanced by the dashing, pint-sized “Edmund” in a sly take on the Twilight mania.
Eclipse: Better Than the First Two Twilight Flicks
I went to see Eclipse on opening weekend and am happy to report – even though it might diminish my credibility with some literary/film school/independent flick types – that I enjoyed it, thought it was much better than New Moon and more light-hearted in places, not taking itself TOO seriously.
My pop culture column over on Mommy Tracked this week also points out that, despite the fact that the movie (like the book series) has all these super-strong werewolves and vampires protecting the fragile human Bella Swan from violence and possible death -- at times even being held her involuntarily hostage in order to keep her “safe” -- Bella’s no slouch when it comes to protecting those she loves either, that’s when she’s not pining or pondering becoming a teenage bride.
Being a teenager is damned hard, at least in Dillon, Texas, at least for the likes of Becky, who’s 16 and pregnant, and for Vince, who can’t find a job because he’s been arrested and has been trying as hard as he can not to fall in with the gang and the violence that threatens to envelope him.
While Vince, whose mother's drug problems make her AWOL as a parent, had Coach Taylor there to help him get a job – at Ray’s BBQ where Virgil offered to hire him as long as he kept himself out of trouble, 16-year-old Becky, herself the child of a teenage mother who's largely absent while tending bar, had no one to advise her after she got knocked up from a one-night-stand with Luke Cafferty. Though Luke has spoken with her and offered help, she’s leaning toward an abortion, though she’s still on the fence and in serious need of guidance. And seeking out Tim Riggins’ counsel – the same guy who’s working at an illegal chop shop after hours – doesn’t seem like the best move.
Meanwhile, while Eric Taylor was looking for Tinker to find out why he’s missed practice, Eric witnessed the aftermath of a shooting of a 12-year-old in Carroll Park, which made him realize that for some of his players who live in the area just getting to football practice unscathed, never mind escaping the reach of violence that plagues that area, is a constant challenge. Ever the optimist, Eric wanted to try to do something about it, but he went about it in his typically awkward Eric kind of way. No politician he.
Eric needed Buddy’s help – again -- just like he needed him to help rustle up the support of the East Dillon football alums for a Homecoming event earlier this season. With Buddy’s assistance, Eric met with a community organizer, who had credibility with some of the youth in the area, and they arranged not only to get the lights turned on in the troubled park, but to bring the community together with a pick-up football game between neighborhood players and the East Dillon Lions.
The best moment of the episode: Eric playing wry with Tami when he informed her that he was disgusted by the notion that, by the mere fact that Glenn had kissed Tami, Eric was one degree away from kissing Glenn. (When Glenn apologized to Eric, who knew nothing of the drunken kiss, loved, just loved Eric’s surprised, restrained rage look.)
Finally Saw Breaking Bad’s Freshman Season
The web site to which I contribute blog items about TV – CliqueClack TV – has this regular feature called, “The Virgin Diaries.” The writers who contribute to the site pick a show that has already aired that they, personally, have never seen before, watch it and chronicle their reactions. Fans who’ve already watched those seasons of the show get to re-live it through fresh eyes, remembering what it was like to learn a certain fact or see a new character for the first time.
My first “Virgin Diary” entry was posted today about AMC’s Breaking Bad starring Bryan Cranston. I just finished the first season – it was only seven episodes long -- over the weekend and wrote about how the star, Bryan Cranston surprised me by absolutely making me forget that he ever knew anyone named Malcolm or ever once donned roller skates and did a routine to the song Funkytown.
With only a few weeks to go before the June 30 premiere of the third installment of the Twilightsaga, Eclipse, the media hype is starting to gear up in earnest. And ABC’s Nightline got into the act by interviewing Robert Pattinson, who stars in the Twilight films as the vampire Edward Cullen who's in love with the human, Bella Swan.
During the interview, Pattinson, who apparently doesn’t think he’s a very good actor, seemed pretty self-deprecating, low-key and almost shell-shocked by the fact that he’s considered a heartthrob and that loads of strangers want to chime in on his personal life, hence he tries to keep certain things -- like his love life -- private.
I found it interesting that, near the end of the interview, the 24-year-old joked about his “fears” about being too lucky all at once because, “If too many good things happen, then you’re gonna die at 30 and I didn’t want that to happen.” Hopefully he's not taking those James Dean comparisons too much to heart.
As we get closer to the June 30 release date for the third film installment in the Twilight series -- Eclipse -- the Twilight PR machine is trying to amp up demand by releasing little tidbits from the movie, like this new one featuring Edward getting in Jacob's face after Jacob said he had kissed Bella. (*and all the tweens swoon*)
Edward was relatively restrained, considering, well, you know, that Jacob's a werewolf and Edward's a vampire. And, is it just me, or does Bella's dad look almost as pale as Edward?
I'm hoping Eclipse is better than New Moon, which I didn't enjoy as much as the original Twilight. Is that asking too much?
The latest Twilight saga trailer for the film Eclipse seems geared toward attracting a male audience.
The previous promo highlighted the Bella-Edward-Jacob love triangle, with Edward proclaiming to Bella, "I promise to love you for every moment forever," while he emphasized the consequences of becoming a vampire and outliving her friends and family. Meanwhile Jacob said, "You wouldn't have to change for me Bella. I'm in love with you. I want you to pick me instead of him."
As for the new trailer, I'm not a big fan of the fight scene stuff, and that's what comprises most of this promo, released via Oprah Winfrey's show, introduced by Dakota Fanning, who plays a vampire named Jane.
Here's the first, romantically-inclined Eclipse trailer which I like better:
My Twilight-obsessed daughter -- who's firmly in the Team Jacob camp -- will be thrilled that the trailer for the new installment in the Twilight saga, Eclipse, has just been released. (Film premieres June 30.)
Surprisingly, there's a lot less of R.Patt. than I thought there'd be, with much more emphasis on Taylor Lautner.
Loved that The Hurt Locker won best picture. Found it refreshing and inspiring to see Academy Award winning director Kathryne Bigelow holding two awards, breaking Oscar's glass ceiling. Found myself cheering when I heard that a fellow journalist got an Oscar for penning the Oscar winning Hurt Locker screenplay. Eyes teared up when I watched the films of my high school years featured during an Academy homage to the late John Hughes.
But all in all, I was not a fan of the 82nd Academy Awards. As much as I like Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin -- Baldwin simply owns 30 Rock -- I found their performance last night to be just so-so. Only about a quarter of their jokes were amusing and their opening monologue (or is it duo-logue) dragged. Comparing the Oscars to the Golden Globe broadcast, I think Ricky Gervais was much more entertaining and cutting edge . . . because I hear that the Academy Awards folks were all into getting them there youngsters to tune in, what with them recruiting the Twilight stars (sans R.Pat.), Zac Efron's hair and the slouching teen known as Miley Cyrus to present awards. If you're reading, Oscar show people: I want Jon Stewart back.
And while, in theory, I like the personal touch of having someone who actually knows the men and women nominated in the best actor/actress categories say something specific about each nominee, by the time we got to that point in the show, it was annoying and it made a long show (ditch the dance number, this is not the Tony Awards!) even longer.
By the way, was anyone else, other than yours truly, confused by the weirdness that was the documentary short acceptance speech where one guy was speaking when a "Lady Kanye," as she's being referred to online, hijacked the mic? Well Salon got to the bottom of that and found out that there was indeed prior conflict over who was going to accept the Oscar in the event of a win because there was behind-the-scenes acrimony. Oh, the cut-throat world of documentary shorts.
I'm ashamed to say that I actually fell asleep and missed the last few big awards. That's what I get for failing to caffeine up. It was the Oscars, for God's sake, I should've known better than to go into it caffeine free. And when I went to watch the rest of the show on DVR, it cut off mid-way through Sandra Bullock's entertainting acceptance speech because the show went beyond the scheduled 11:30 p.m. ending. (Damn Helen Mirren. I knew I should've extended the taping time!) So I had to go to the Oscar web site and watch the remaining acceptance speeches there.
The most amusing thing I saw all night? The Modern Family promo where the characters had a movie-themed night of charades.
What'd you think of the Oscars, both the winners/losers and the show itself?
For a while now, Jimmy Fallon has having some fun at the expense of the insane popularity of Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson. (He plays Edward Cullen, the vampire, captain of Team Edward, for those of you not in the know.)
Fallon’s been doing spoof videos which he calls, “Bothered with Robert Pattison,” where Fallon dons uber-pale makeup and messes up his hair in order to look like Pattinson’s very serious character Edward. Occasionally, Fallon willl growl like Edward the vampire does after he's climbed into a tree in order to ponder things that “bother” Pattinson.
The Valentine’s Day installment of “Bothered” was hilarious:
On Monday, Pattinson himself appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon in order to plug his new movie Remember Me (in which I’m interested in seeing, but want to read reviews first). Not only did Pattinson nervously field questions as fans went completely ape *bleep* over him -- that’s when he wasn’t touching his hair (that’s one heck of a nervous tick he’s got, wanted to scream, “Stop messin’ with your hair dude!” while watching the interview) -- but he was a very good sport by agreeing to appear in a “Bothered” video with Fallon.
Don't you think Pattinson's got some kind of weird hair issue going on here?
My Notes from the Asylum blogging has been a bit on the light side over the past week or so as I'm trying to give myself a mini-break before I plunge into some major writing/editing/blogging in the new year.
But in between numerous Christmas and Hanukkah celebrations, the kids' Christmas break, barely eluding being guilted into taking my 8-year-old to see Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel (a friend's mom took him), seeing It's Complicated with a gal pal, baking loads of holiday cookies and, at the behest of my daughter, polishing off the last of the Twilight series (just finished Breaking Dawn today), I learned that the JibJab guys have finally released their comedic send-off of 2009 called, Never a Year Like '09. Don't play this video at work or in front of kids though. The Octomom part made me laugh/cringe, as did the scene with David Letterman's "late night lust" and Miss California fake-humping the state of California.
Speaking of the New Year . . . I'm not one for resolution lists and media tips which proclaim to possess the answers to how to make your life better, particularly around this time of year, so for my GateHouse News Service column this month, I wrote a snarky parenting "anti-resolution" list including recommendations on embracing the crazy, acting more like moms on TV and campaigning for national acceptance of "underparenting."
The Notes from the Asylum list of noteworthy people, things and events of 2009, in no particular order . . .
Barack Obama inaugurated. That moment of national pride upon seeing the first African-American president sworn into office seems like a very long time ago. Since that cold January day in Washington, D.C. we’ve seen the president highlighted in the news for:
The First Family’s search for a dog
The Professor Gates imbroglio
The question of whether Obama and the French president actually checked out a teenager’s booty in full view of the media
A congressman shouting, “You lie” at the president during his address to Congress about the health insurance reform legislation
The swine flu vaccine debacle (not enough vaccines despite government promises) and nationwide H1N1 scare (aided and abetted by Vice President Joe Biden’s I-wouldn’t-put-my-family-on-an-airplane-right-now comment on the Today Show)
The contentious debates and town hall meetings about the health care legislation
A controversial stimulus bill, with federal money being spent on some, um, controversial items
The likes of AIG honchos getting mega-bonuses while unemployment numbers climb into the double-digits
The federal government’s attempts to help revive the ailing U.S. automotive industry inspiring the nickname “Government Motors”
The massacre at Fort Hood
Tens of thousands of US troops being sent to Afghanistan
The president killing a fly on camera.
Yes, it’s been a very long, weird freshman year for President Obama.
Sarah Palin, the former VP nominee who resigned the Alaska governorship this year. Hey, who says books are dead? Palin’s autobiography and well attended book tour events says books aren’t quite dead yet. At least all the attention paid to her book and her Oprah interview took the immature daddy of her grandson off out of the news, for a little while.
The season finale of Mad Men. Coupled with “The Gypsy and the Hobo” episode -- where Don finally confessed almost all of his dirty little secrets to his wife Betty -- these two episodes set the bar impossibly high for what it means to deliver intelligent, riveting, quality television. Completely. Besotted.
Morning Joe. The MSNBC talk show, which is always on in the kitchen as I get the kids ready for school on weekday mornings, boasts a lively mix of liberal and conservative ideologies, smart discussion and bar room humor all in one. It has had a great year and has earned my viewer loyalty.
Jon Hamm on SNL. Take note other celeb would-be Saturday Night Live hosts: Jon Hamm may have made being funny in the unevenly written sketch show LOOK easy when he hosted, but it’s not. Just ask his Mad Men co-star, January Jones. Oh, and those two actors being photographed by Annie Leibovitz for Vanity Fair earlier this year . . . those images constituted my favorite photo shoot of the year.
The Gosselin saga. Eight is enough apparently . . . especially when you throw some girlfriends into the mix. This was a sad, sad chapter in American pop culture lore where parents put their eight cute children in front of TV cameras for TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8 and were then dismayed when those cameras wound up capturing the disintegration of their marriage. One might’ve hoped that this private-moment-made-public would’ve caused other parents to reconsider putting their kids on reality show programs. Alas, it didn’t.
The folks at Newsweek attempted the difficult and controversial job of trying to summarize an entire decade -- 2000-2009 -- in a little over seven minutes by creating this video.
At the end of the video, the narrator asked what they missed. I can think of a few things just off the top of my head: Multi-kid mania (Angelina/Madonna adoptions, Gosselins, Octo-Mom, Duggars); the crazes involving High School Musical, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus and vampires; the Boston Red Sox breaking an 86 year curse (I still get teary-eyed at the memory), the first Latina on the U.S. Supreme Court and the skimpiness of their handling of 9/11. I think Borat got more airtime than did 9/11.
I'd love to hear what you think they left out of the decade summary.
The Daily Beast’s Rebecca Dana was able to shoehorn Betty Draper, Taylor Swift, Jenny Sanford and Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren into the same column, lauding them for not taking adverse events that befell them lying down. Dubbing 2009, “The Year of Women Not Taking Sh**,” Dana wrote that Woods’ wife taking a “golf club to his Escalade” was only one among many instances of women striking back.
On Jenny Sanford – wife of the South Carolina governor who famously traveled to Argentina to visit his “soul mate” lover – Dana said that in the wake of the sex scandal, Jenny Sanford “declined to pull a ‘Silda Spitzer’ and saddle up next to her over-tanned Republican spouse for his meandering mea culpa. Instead, she released a sternly worded statement and took off with her sons to a house in the country. She gave a strong, unapologetic interview to Vogue and looked lovely in the accompanying photo. Eventually she packed some boxes, called some friends, and moved the hell out.”
After being dumped by a JoBro and then enduring Kanye West storming up onto the stage to interrupt her acceptance speech at the VMAs, Dana wrote that singer Taylor Swift then landed an SNL hosting gig, enjoyed the mammoth success of her hit CD, won a trunk full of awards and is now dating the werewolf from Twilight.
A woman who didn’t do so well hosting SNL, January Jones, fared better when she inhabited the persona of Betty Draper on Mad Men and “finally left serial womanizing husband, Don.” But, as one person mentioned on Twitter, Betty did leave Don to run right into the arms of another guy.
Other women mentioned as kicking some butt this year:
Kate Gosselin whose estranged husband was openly messing around with the daughter of the plastic surgeon who did Kate's tummy tuck and subsequently told ABC that he "despised" Kate, Bristol Palin soldiering on as a single mom -- using her teen pregnancy as a cautionary tale while the dude who impregnated her is making an idiot of himself, and the wife of the Italian prime minister who wouldn’t put up with his philandering any longer and lashed out at him in public.
Is Dana right? WAS 2009 a good year for women standing up for themselves? Anyone else you could add to her list?
Image credit: Illustration by Dyna Moe/Nobody's Sweetheart.
When I wasn't doing the whole Thanksgiving celebration thing last week, I was immersed in the world of Twilight.
My editor at Mommy Tracked had asked me to write a column about the film New Moon, the second film based on the four-book series, which has become a mega-hit. To prepare to write the piece, I Netflixed Twilight and watched it with my Twilight fan daughter (who's read three of the four books), went to the theater to see New Moon, proceeded to read Stephenie Meyer's book, New Moon, and then, because New Moon included so many Romeo and Juliet references, re-read the gold standard of angst-ridden teen love stories.
My conclusion after spending all that time thinking about vampires, werewolves and tragic teen romances: Don't go asking the Twilight book series to be Shakespeare, or the films to be Oscar caliber, or have its lead character be some kind of feminist hero. (The lead character Bella Swan, plunges into a deep depression in the second film/book after her vampire boyfriend, Edward Cullen, dumps her.) The whole Twilight phenomenon is a love stories about teens (though the vampire dude has actually been on earth for more than a century) seen from the irrational teen perspective of "I can't live without him (or her) or I shall perish."
Why are thirty- and fortysomething moms -- nicknamed "Twimoms" -- so enthusiastic about the series? I write in my column that these women "can recall with fondness those days of being adored by an infatuated boy who sees nothing in his world but you. Their days are now filled with ferrying children around, work, all things domestic and something as quaint as a love life that seems as though it's been put on the backburner, moms can recall the days when when romantic love was everything by pouring through the thousands of pages of Twilight books and hours of feature films, like they're taking a little vacation, albeit with those pesky, bloodsucking vampires and irritating werewolves."
Have you seen the Twilight movies and/or read the books? What do you think explains the mania for all things Bella, Edward and Jacob?
