'The Kids are All Right:' Parents are Parents

The Spouse kindly agreed to accompany me to the movies last week where I dragged him to see The Kids are All Right, the new Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo flick.

By the time we left the theater, we were convinced that the whole point of the film was this: Regardless of the fact that the main couple was comprised of two women who had raised two children, ages 15 and 18 (they each got pregnant with donor sperm from the same guy), their gender didn’t really matter all that much. What DID matter most was the fact that raising children changed their relationship, challenged it and sometimes obscured the romantic partners’ ability to see one another as they really are, not simply a collection of assorted weaknesses and flaws that can prove irritating.

In my pop culture column this week I wrote about the commonalities I felt I had with the film’s characters, saying, “. . . I felt as though I was observing some of the similar challenges facing my marriage to my husband being played out on the silver screen, witnessing the inevitable scars child-rearing, and life in general, can cause to a relationship.”

Pop Culture Quick Hits: 'Men of a Certain Age,' TV as Art & the SNL-Woods Controversy

Men of a Certain Age on TNT

Okay, okay TV reviewer people. I’ll program my DVR to record the premiere of TNT’s Men of a Certain Age tonight at 10. It’s a dramedy about three men -- one divorced, one single, one married -- dealing with a variety of dispiriting events that have happened to them as they flounder about in middle age. You critics have convinced me that Ray Romano demonstrates a degree of depth as the sad sack of a guy who’s been left by his wife and is trying to figure out where his life’s dreams went. You've indicated that this program -- also starring Andre Braugher and Scott Bakula -- is worth an hour of my time. You better be right.

The New York Times’ Alessandra Stanley said, “Men of a Certain Age is not violent, exciting or fast-paced, but the series has a quiet charm of its own; it is a believable, sharply observed portrait of ordinary men who, through all-too-common bad breaks and missteps, feel that they are backsliding.”

But they had me at Andre Braugher.

TV as Art

When this decade began, I had twin toddlers at home who were joined by a baby brother in mid-2001. Needless to say, the decade was marked by a lot of TV watching in my house as we didn’t want to have to obtain a second mortgage in order to afford babysitting for our very young children. And while I was watching said TV programs, I noticed the same thing that Emily Nussbaum of New York Magazine did, that TV has evolved into art (which is why when people act as though TV’s just for dummies, I bristle. Have they not seen Mad Men?) In New York Magazine’s ode to the decade of the 2000s, Nussbaum penned a love letter to this new generation of TV series, of the ilk that people like me obsess about on blogs like this one:

“. . . [F]or anyone who loves television, who adores it with the possessive and defensive eyes of a fan, this was most centrally and importantly the first decade when television became recognizable as art, great art: collectible and life-changing and transformative and lasting . . . It was a period of exhilarating craftsmanship and formal experimentation, accompanied by spurts of anxious grandiosity (for the first half of the decade, fans compared anything good to Dickens, Shakespeare, or Scorsese, because nothing so ambitious had existed in TV history).”

She continued:

“But as this decade began, it had already begun to dawn on viewers that television was something that you could not just merely enjoy and then discard but brood over and analyze, that could challenge and elevate, not just entertain. And a new generation of prickly, idiosyncratic, egotistical TV auteurs were starting to shove up against the limits of their medium, stripping apart genres like the sitcom and the cop show, developing iconic roles for actors like Edie Falco and Michael C. Hall. As the years proceeded (and technology inspired new styles of storytelling), even network TV could stage an innovative series like Lost. On pay channels, especially HBO, it was a genuine renaissance: Show-runners like David Chase and Alan Ball and David Milch and Michael Patrick King (and his Sex and the City writers) reveled in cable’s freedom, exploring adult themes in shocking, sometimes difficult ways.”

Among the shows Nussbaum singled out as having elevated the craft were some of my favorites: Lost (of course), Six Feet Under, The West Wing, Alias, and a small show I might’ve written about here a few times . . . Mad Men.

SNL-Tiger Woods Controversy

Saturday Night Live went there. With the Tiger Woods scandal. And when they went there, they went, in the opinion of some, too far. With Rihanna, one of this year’s most famous victims of domestic abuse, as the musical guest, SNL had a skit making fun of Woods and domestic violence. The cue cards at the end of the skit where the actor playing Woods had written on the back of them that he was scared and feared for his life at the hands of his abusive wife . . . that was the point at which I was sure they’d gone too far. Several bloggers took umbrage – and rightly so – over the skit and the horrific timing with Rihanna on the show. NYT Arts blogger David Itzkoff has a round-up of quotes from several bloggers who thought the sketch was in poor taste.

What DID I like from SNL this past weekend? The White House party crashers skit. Spot. On.



Image credit: TNT.

Presidential Pop Culture Preferences: McCain as Batman, Obama as Spider-Man?

Entertainment Weekly has an interesting feature in this week's issue where a reporter asked Senators and presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama about their pop culture preferences. Aside from identifying McCain as Batman and Obama as Spider-Man, other observations from the article:

Their favorite fictional presidents: McCain picked 24's David Palmer (in the show, he was portrayed as the first African-American president), while Obama went with Jeff Bridges in the movie The Contender. What, no love for The West Wing's President Jed Bartlet?

Their families have voted for an American Idol: McCain's wife Cindy has voted for Arizona's Jordin Sparks. Obama's girls voted for David Archuleta, the magazine reported.

Their TVs are frequently tuned to: McCain watches Seinfeld repeats, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dexter, The Wire and Big Love, which he said is one of his wife's favorites. Obama says his 7- and 10-year-old daughters frequently watch the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon (Hannah Montana, Drake & Josh, That's So Raven, SpongeBob SquarePants, the last one Obama says he finds "pretty funny") while his wife Michelle puts on HGTV ("I suffer that silently") and he makes the case for sports and ESPN.

The last movie they saw in the movie theaters: McCain saw the latest Indiana Jones flick ("I enjoyed that so much. The old guy wins.") and Obama saw Shrek 3 with the kids.

When asked what superhero they'd be if they could choose any: McCain said Batman because, "[H]e does justice sometimes and against insurmountable odds. And he doesn't make his good works known to a lot of people, so a lot of people think he's just a rich playboy." Obama says: "I was always into the Spider-Man/Batman model. The guys who have too many powers, like Superman, that always makes me think they weren't really earning their superhero status. It's a little too easy."

Image credit: Entertainment Weekly/Ward Sutton.

First Spouses: Why the Compulsion to Attack, Critique?

Maybe it's just me, but I, a political news nut, am sick to death of stories that pit Michelle Obama against Cindy McCain, compare the women and even goad them and their husband's presidential campaigns into critiquing one another. Harshly.

Almost exactly a year ago, the New York Times ran a piece comparing the spouses of the slate of Republican and Democratic candidates, much of it focused on the physical appearance and style of the wives. In that same article -- entitled, I kid you not, "Will Her Face Determine His Fortune" and commented on former Senator Fred Thompson's wife's "bleached blond hair" and "permanent tan" -- Republican pollster Frank Luntz told the Times: "The spouse of the candidate matters in less than 1 out of 100 votes. It's not relevant. It will have no impact whatsoever."

A recent ABC News poll which directly compared Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain came to the same conclusion, saying, and I quote, "The popularity of presidential candidates' spouses does not drive vote preferences." After going on an on about who likes who better, and which woman has the higher negative ratings, the folks who conducted ABC's poll added, "Again, views of the candidates' spouses do not significantly influence vote choices."

Last October, five of the wives of presidential candidates met in California to discuss what their lives were like on the campaign trail. The Associated Press reported of the group of Democrats and Republicans:

"Political differences scarcely were mentioned during the hourlong discussion as they described how they keep up a grueling schedule of campaign appearances while trying to preserve time with their children and protect their husbands from overzealous handlers.

They held hands and exchanged hugs as the panel concluded.

All said they had little input on policy matters. And they largely rejected the notion made famous by Bill Clinton in the 1992 campaign when he described his partnership with his wife, Hillary Rodham Clinton, as 'Buy one, get one free.'"

Today, that seems like the good old days. Now Michelle Obama is called a "baby mama" by a TV network, her playful fist-bumps with her husband dissected for evidence of a terrorist connection. Cindy McCain is pilloried for whether she actually has favorite recipes or just plagiarizes them from the internet. As if any of this matters, in the end, on for whom you'll cast your vote for president.

My Mommy Track'd column this week satirizes the media phenomenon that is the obsession with categorizing any teensy difference between Obama and McCain as a cat fight between potential first ladies. It's madness, I tell you, madness.

Image credit: Reuters via the Daylife web site.

My Husband's Secret Pop Culture Life

I don't know how it happened. We've been married for over 15 years, been together as a couple for more than 20. But somehow, my husband has developed a secret life that I never knew about.

I discovered this while perusing through a recent issue of Entertainment Weekly, one of my favorite magazines that I revere for its smart, clever take on film, television and books. The editors had compiled lists of what they called the "New Classics," films, TV shows, music and books that have been released in the last 25 years that the editors believed made in impact on American popular culture. (Yo editors, no Alias? Have you taken leave of your senses? But I digress. . .)

Convinced I'd crush him with my affection and knowledge of TV and movies, I decided to read the lists aloud to see who'd seen more shows and movies. (I didn't bother tabulating the book list because my husband doesn't read books. Not that he can't of course, but I don't think he's even gotten through my book yet. It came out last year.)

My bubble was burst as I was going through the film list and he said he'd seen several movies I hadn't, movies that came out after we'd been together, like Dazed and Confused and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

"When did you see those? I never saw them," I asked.

"I don't know," he replied, "maybe you were asleep and I was just flipping through the TV stations late at night."

By the time I got to the end of the list, I found that I'd seen 54 of the top 100 "new classic" films, and he'd seen 60 of them. This did not bode well. However I didn't start to become truly troubled until we got to the TV list. Here, he kicked my butt, seeing 87 of the 100 TV shows to my 61. ("Am I too picky? Too snotty in my viewing habits?" I thought as he racked up the numbers and I had a crisis of TV watching confidence.) Among the shows I never knew he watched was Baywatch, number 50 on the list. He didn't directly admit to watching it but got a you-know-what-eating-grin across his face when I said, "Please don't tell me you watched Baywatch."

Among the other shockers, he'd seen Saved by the Bell, Jackass, Felicity and Xena: Warrior Princess. "How could I not have known that you've seen all these things?" I said incredulously. Maybe it's that I just talk and overtly analyze what I watch more than he does so he knows what I've seen but I don't know what he's seen because he's pretty quiet about it. But for a guy who doesn't seem to care much about discussions about pop culture -- with the exception of Lost which we watch together and dissect at length -- his tally of 87 shows stunned me.

Next thing you know, he'll be telling me he watches The Real Housewives of Orange County long after I've fallen asleep after watching a Lost DVD hunting for more clues. My husband, apparently, has a secret pop culture life.

Image credit: Entertainment Weekly.