Monday, January 4, 2010

'Desperate' Mondays: If . . .

*Warning: Spoilers from the recent episode of Desperate Housewives ahead.*

After a Christmas hiatus, the ladies of Wisteria Lane were back as Mary Alice, the deceased narrator, reminded us viewers that, since the last time we’d seen the desperate housewives, there’d been a plane crash on this “quiet suburban street.” (Not so quiet really, as you might recall from my extensive review of the string of arsons, murders and attacks that have occurred there over the years, but let's not let the facts get in the way of an overhyped episode.)

And what befell the wives in this new installment? Lynette lost one of her unborn twins after she fell sharply to the ground as she pushed Celia Solis out of the way of an out-of-control crashing airplane, saving the 4-year-old’s life. While she saved the girl and regained the favor of her estranged friend Gabby, a surgical attempt to save one of Lynette’s twins – who doctors feared would be born disabled -- failed.

Meanwhile Gabby tried to convince herself that Celia’s life was spared because she is special and has talent, then allowed herself to imagine what would happen if she tried to force an unwilling Celia into acting. Susan lost her ex-husband Karl (daydreamed about what would've happened had she never divorced the philanderer) and Bree lost the man she hoped she’d marry once she divorced Orson, who we learned may or may not be permanently paralyzed.

While watching the back-with-a-bang episode, I felt like I was being strung along for a ride (like I felt with the shooting in the grocery store or the aftermath of the hurricane episode), as if it was merely filler, an excuse to put Teri Hatcher in a fat suit, have Eva Longoria go all Grey Gardens and allow Felicity Huffman to be a martyred mom who unwittingly served as an inspiration to the disabled son she’d never have. It was so contrived, particularly the Teri Hatcher fat suit scenes, all flash and no flesh to it, other than of the plastic variety.

And the whole mystery with Angie – that she’s on the run following a violent protest, decades ago, of which she was a participant and in which a police officer accidentally died, a kind of Weather Underground/anarchist/revolutionary plot twist – seemed, oh, what’s the word, lame? To be honest, I’ve never connected with her character, don’t, frankly, care what happens to her or any of the Bolens and that wretched character Nick.

All in all, the whole episode left me feeling distinctly unenthused about where the rest of the season is headed. You?

Image credit: ABC via the Los Angeles Times.

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