Where the Heck Have I Been?

 

Mad Men has started its strange new late-60s season while The Good Wife concluded its fourth with great Florrick flourish.

The Red Sox season thus far, hasn't, surprisingly, been cringe-worthy.

The Boston Marathon was bombed and a violent manhunt was waged through the streets of the Boston metro area.

Two of my favorite humorists -- David Sedaris (saw him speak recently in Boston) and Dave Barry -- have come out with new books.

Alas, I haven't been able to break open the pages of the new books, muse about Mad Men as I'm wont to do or catch the bulk of the Sox games, never mind blog in this space. Why not?

Three reasons:

1. I've been prepping for the release of my novel, Mortified: A Novel About Oversharing, this month, May 12 to be exact. (Here's the book web site. This is the Amazon listing. The local paper also ran a good piece about the book here. *Fingers crossed to thwart any bad reviews.*)

2. I've been teaching writing and journalism full-time, as well as advising the university's student newspaper. (Here's the web site for the online/social media course I'm teaching.)

3. I've been actively researching my next book, a work of non-fiction where I chronicle the year in the life of a middle school jazz band.

BUT ... the university's classes are almost over for the semester and the grades will be filed soon, so I plan to resume my pop culture, politics and media musings ASAP. I've got a fierce Mad Men post I've been mulling over after another head-scratching installment Sunday night.

More to come! Promise!

In the meantime, I appeared on the Manic Mommies podcast where I not only discussed my novel and the wild media coverage of the Boston Marathon bombings, but what's hot in TV right now.

Image credit: Michael Yarish/AMC.

Sardonic Laughs for the Literary Types

Before Thanksgiving, one of my friends with a killer sense of humor sent me a link to a snarky and profane column by Colin Nissan from the web site McSweeney’s Internet Tendency about autumnal decorative gourd season gone awry. Oh my God. It was damn funny, the perfect antidote to over-the-top, Good Housekeeping-type of fall home decorating tips.

As a result of reading that column, I’ve been noodling around on the site for the past week and found other pieces that were witty and cutting, though not as profane as Nissan’s. Two of my favorites:

Writer Cirocco Dunlap’s “Literary Genre Translations” took one sentence -- “I ate a sandwich and looked out the window” – and translated it according to various genres of books. The results were hilarious.

The Russian Classic version of that same sentence:

“I, Shanvokovic, steadily finished my becoldened soup made by Gregorinoviczh as if the weight on my conscience weren’t pressing deep down into my darkening soul. I looked out the architect’s airhole into the bleak grey of the day – grey, indeed, as my mortality – as I waited for the sweet nightshade to seep into my bloodstream and for Borsha to find my explanatory farewell tome.”

The 19th Century British Romance version:

“Being but a governess with no prospects but a fierce wit and a quick temper which is out of mode, I nibbled a soda biscuit and looked off into the glade, awaiting my dear friend – whom I surely could not come to love – Mr. Wadswortherton.”

Then there was Karen Gilmore’s “An Open Letter to Friends and Family Regarding Inquiries About My Reproductive Plans.” Modeled after literary agents’ submission guidelines which tell writers exactly, in precise detail, what they should and shouldn’t do in order to be afforded the opportunity for an agent to simply glance at their cover letter extolling the virtues of their unpublished manuscript, Gilmore wrote:

“Dear Friends and Family,


Thank you for your interest in my reproductive plans. Before submitting your inquiry, please read the submission guidelines below.”

On “Simultaneous Submissions,” she wrote:

“Please do not simultaneously submit the same inquiry regarding our reproductive plans to both my husband and I. This could confuse us and if you confuse us, we may accidentally delete your query without responding to it and then we will laugh maniacally and sleep the peaceful, uninterrupted sleep of the childless.”

I so needed to find this web site. Since there haven’t been many new David Sedaris and Dave Barry columns to read on a regular basis, I’ve had this void in my life when it came to this kind of comedic writing. McSweeney’s fits that void very nicely.

Notes on Pop Culture: Dave Barry in NYT, 'Lost' Interview Has Me Worried

Dave Barry Featured in Sunday's New York Times

One of my favorite writers is a humorist. His name is Dave Barry. When I was teaching journalism classes at the University of Massachusetts, I frequently distributed Barry's columns to my students and, in at least one class, assigned a collection of his columns as required reading. His writing is funny, keenly observant and down-to-earth, as well as very, very clever. Ever tried to write funny? It's hard. Believe me.

This weekend the Pulitzer Prize winning Barry, who has a new book coming out next week, I'll Mature When I'm Dead (*clearing throat and hoping anyone who's looking to get me a Mother's Day gift takes advantage of the link*), is featured in the New York Times Sunday Magazine.

Since he's in the spotlight of the "Domains" column, there are photos of Barry's house and various stuff in his home, including a photo of a toilet. (It's unclear if that's actually Dave Barry's toilet or not.) If you're a longtime fan of Barry's columns -- or one of my former students -- you might be familar with his campaign to improve the flushing power of toilets. On his toilet crusade, Barry said:

"Years ago we moved to a house that had toilets that did not work well. The plumber told me Congress had mandated that all new toilets use less water. I spent more time on the low-flow toilet than any columnist in America. . . We have some low-flow toilets and one standard one. I tell guests, 'If you really need a toilet that can do the job, go to that one.'"

God do I miss his weekly columns.

Lost Interview Has Me Worried

The Hollywood Reporter has published an interview with one of the brains behind Lost, Damon Lindelof. Why does it worry me? First of all, there's the lead of the story:

"Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof tells THR the crew built new sets for the final moments of the ABC hit drama and that fans should expect to ask themselves, 'What did they mean by this?' after the show ends."

Then there was this:

"As for the nagging question of whether fans be satisfied by the ending, Lindelof said the finale will not employ a Sopranos-style fake-out, but he emphasized that viewers will definitely be left with questions."

So when this ends, I won't have a satisfied smile on my face? I'll be asking, "What the hell just happened?" and know that there'll be no more, no answers? Say it isn't so.

Image credit: Colby Katz/New York Times.

God Do I Miss Dave Barry's Weekly Columns

While reading the Boston Globe's Sunday magazine yesterday, I found myself laughing out loud until tears leaked out of my eyes as I read Dave Barry's 2009 year-in-review column. He's able to put the year into such perfect perspective.

Best two observations:

About the swine flu:

"The big health story in April is the rapid spread of swine flu, a dangerous new virus strain developed by the makers of Purell. Public anxiety over the flu increases when Vice President Joe Biden, demonstrating his gift for emitting statements, declares on the Today show that he would not recommend traveling by commercial airplane or subway. A short while later, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs assures reporters that he is 'not aware of any 'Vice President Joe Biden.''"

About the White House State Dinner party crashers:

". . . in a Washington couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, penetrate heavy security and enter the White House, a feat that Joe Biden has yet to manage. As details of the incident emerge, an embarrassed Secret Service is forced to admit that not only did the couple crash a state dinner, but they also had met and shaken hands with the president, and they 'may have served briefly in the Cabinet.'"

Made me wish that Dave Barry was still writing his weekly, syndicated columns. No one has been able to fill his shoes. Not yet anyway.

Image credit: Jesse Lefkowitz/Boston Globe.

For Sarcastic '24' Fans: Dave Barry's '24' Live-Blogging

Want to watch Jack Bauer & Co. each week with fans who view 24 through a sarcastic lens? You might want to visit columnist Dave Barry's blog, where each week, Barry and his own merry band of followers live-blog each episode by making pithy, smart alecky remarks.

After a snarky recap, ("During the shootout Renee the highly competent FBI agent rescued the Matobos, who are going to meet with President Woman President for a scene that will no doubt feature riveting White House dialogue. Meanwhile Dubaku went to his apartment, where his girlfriend, who apparently does not watch the show and thus is not aware that he is evil, dropped by to say she was going to make his lasagna."), Barry blogs via a series of updates.

What does he say? "Stepping over the line? Jack was BORN over the line." A minute later, Barry quoted an FBI agent, "'Rules are what make us better.' Who writes this stuff?" When Bauer and the other rogue agents were in the Oval Office with the president, Barry wrote, "Right. They would of course leave suspected enemy agents alone with the President!"

The folks who post comments add their thoughts, no holes barred. One wrote, "Trust me . . . help me . . . seems like I've heard that before. Oh, yeah! My last bad date." Another, mocked the FBI guy, "Why do I feel Pepe Le Pew would be more effective than Agent Larry will be?" Commenting on agent Renee Walker, nicknamed "Freckles," using rough interrogation methods like Jack, another wrote, "This is like Luke and Leia. That girl is Jack's secret twin sister."

It's a fun way to watch 24, particularly in moments when it strains credulity.

Image credit: Dave Barry's blog.

Suburban Mom's Political Fix: Dave Barry's Laugh Out-Loud Year in Review

I know that year-in-reviews seem so five days ago, but you simply must check out humor columnist Dave Barry's 2008 retrospective. I stumbled upon it while reading the Sunday Boston Globe yesterday and couldn't stop laughing.

For example, while writing about the events in January, Barry said:

"The Iowa caucuses produce two surprises:

On the Republican side, the winner is Mike Huckabee, folksy former governor of Arkansas, or possibly Oklahoma, who vows to remain in the race until he gets a commentator gig with Fox. His win deals a severe blow to Mitt Romney and his bid to become the first president of the android persuasion. Not competing in Iowa are Rudy Giuliani, whose strategy is to stay out of the race until he is mathematically eliminated, and John McCain, who entered the caucus date incorrectly into his 1996 Palm Pilot.

On the Democratic side, the surprise winner is Barack Obama, who is running for president on a long and impressive record of running for president. A mesmerizing speaker, Obama electrifies voters with his exciting new ideas for change, although people have trouble remembering exactly what these ideas are because they are so darned mesmerized. Some people become so excited that they actually pass out. These are members of the press corps.

Obama's victory comes at the expense of former front-runner Hillary Clinton, who fails to ignite voter passion despite a rip-snorter of a stump speech in which she recites, without notes, all 17 points of her plan to streamline tuition-loan appliances."

Man, I miss Dave Barry's weekly columns. They provided me with at least one guaranteed laugh per week.