'Desperate' Mondays: A Vision's Just a Vision

Lynette Scavo and the Scavo family, they're dead to me. The places their storyline is heading no longer hold interest for me. It's not even campy nor does it provide any form of satire. So onto the brighter spots from the last episode of Desperate Housewives:

Carlos Solis has now regained his sight and, in latest episode, could clearly see for the first time in five years how much Gabby has sacrificed for her family, her couture clothing, her $700 shoes, her fine art and pricey possessions. While that may not seem like a big sacrifice in today's climate of losing 533,000 jobs in the month of November, but in terms of Gabby's character giving up everything that meant so much to her -- her beauty, her fashion, her dignity (dancing atop a table in order to get back Carlos' prized Lou Gehrig baseball) -- for her daughters and husband, was a sign of her evolution.

In keeping with her character, I hope that Gabby doesn't return the gorgeous dress Carlos bought for her in recognition of her sacrifices, even though most people in her position (and economic situation) would.

While I continue to despise the Mike Delfino/Katherine Mayfair pairing, I do like the twist the writers put on it this week, showing the impact of their budding relationship through the eyes of MJ, Mike and Susan Mayer's young son. There has always been a lot of bed hopping on Wisteria Lane, but precious little attention has been paid to how that affects the kids of the bed hoppers. Seeing MJ act out -- throwing ice cream sundaes and bowling balls at Katherine -- rang true.

Bree Van de Kamp Hodge continues to surprise me this season. Her reaction to her son Andrew's engagement to a male plastic surgeon (who once did a porn flick to help pay for law school) also showed her character not simply evolving, but staying true to who she's been over the past seasons. The image of Bree in an adult video store: Priceless, without even having to be shown on screen.

Kudos to the writers for the big reveal at the end at the grave site. Dave's character is definitely growing on me, even though his storyline is connected to the Scavos'.

Am I the only one who's really loathing the Scavo family story this season? Thoughts about the Delfino/Mayfair duo?

'Desperate' Mondays: Me and My Town

First some Desperate Housewives love.

I just adore this season's Gabby and Carlos Solis storyline. While still maintaining the characters' integrity (Gabby, while in a lower tax bracket, hasn't lost her lust for all things luxurious), the writers have allowed this couple to evolve and mature in ways that I think are thoroughly entertaining and ring true to who they are.

So when doctors said Carlos could have an operation which could give him his sight back after five years of blindness, it was a brilliant move to have Gabby freak out because she's gained weight after having two kids. (However I must say, that Gabby has the most realistic female form on the show these days and doesn't look heavy to me, as compared to the real women I see everyday. I was noticing last night that nearly every woman on this show now looks gaunt, even former Everymom, Felicity Huffman, who was lookin' scary gaunt.)

The best moment of the latest episode occurred when Gabby came clean and told Carlos she didn't want to let him down when he regained his vision because she'd put on some pounds. Carlos related a beautiful anecdote about how he first fell in love with Gabby during a dinner when she gorged on a plate of ribs, got barbecue sauce all over herself and belly-laughed when Carlos told her she was a mess. During that meal, he said, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, listening to her laugh and live life with gusto. In true Gabby style, she replied to the romantic sentiment by saying that she only knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him after he related that story, "Up until then it was touch-and-go."

Perfect.

Now for the Desperate Housewives dissin'.

I really dislike the Katherine Mayfair/Mike Delfino story. Zippo chemistry. It's crystal clear that the pairing is just another in a series of road blocks standing in between the inevitable reconciliation of Susan Mayer and Mike. The Katherine character deserves more.

And as for my formerly favorite housewife, Lynette Scavo, she's in danger of becoming a cartoon character. What was once one of the sharpest characters on TV, Lynette is teetering on becoming unwatchable. The latest story about her teenaged son Porter who hooked up with a married mom (and did/didn't impregnate her, don't know if I believe the mom that she's not really pregnant, could be a ploy) who's now being suspected of starting a fire which killed seven, doesn't really move me one way or another. I feel like she was phoning it in.

I'd rather see more of Gabby and Carlos, or even Orson and Bree Van de Kamp Hodge. I was not a fan of Orson when he first appeared on Housewives, but I've warmed to him, and to how he plays off Bree, this season. They've delivered some funny scenes, particularly last night's drugged-up cooking session at the mall and the subsequent visit to the doctor's office. They're on a roll.

Now if only the rest of the Wisteria Lane folks could keep up with the Solises and Hodges . . . .

'Desperate' Mondays: City on Fire

The latest episode of Desperate Housewives featured two obviously ill-fated relationships, one count of brutal spousal battery, one murder, one case of arson that killed a half-dozen more people, and one thinly veiled threat to an unconscious Mike Delfino (how much time has this guy spent unconscious on this show?). Too much for one episode? I can't decide, though I'm leaning toward a "Yes." While on the one hand, DH is known for its over-the-topness, sometimes too much over-the-topness can poison the glorious satirical effect it's trying to achieve.

It's one thing to continue to deepen the mystery behind the menacing Dave Williams, but it's another to have him kill a renowned psychiatrist with his bare hands in a supply closet and then intentionally set a fire to cover up the murder, thus killing more people. (How many fires does this make for DH over the years? Edie Britt's house. Susan Mayer's house. Am I missing any?) I do, however, like the notion of turning Dave into an anti-hero after he went into the burning nightclub to save people.

But the fire scene disturbed me because I live in New England and still clearly remember the fatal nightclub fire in Rhode Island that killed 100 people in 2003, many of whom became trapped inside after emergency exits were locked, as they were in the fictional DH nightclub in the recent episode. I wished the DH fire hadn't been located inside a nightclub while a band was playing, but maybe that's just me.

Meanwhile, May-December romances were curiously rampant along Wisteria Lane. Twentysomething Julie Mayer brought home a thrice-divorced fortysomething professor with a penchant for bedding young women. (Mom Susan Mayer tried to thwart his wedding proposal, but Julie did that on her own, saying that she was never getting married because marriage never led to happiness for the twice-divorced Susan, so the institution was pointless.)

Teenager Porter Scavo and fortysomething mom Anne Schilling continue to be a couple, plus Schilling's still pregnant with his child and now in the hospital recovering after being beaten by her husband, the nightclub owner, after he learned about the affair. However if Porter, who was seen toting a pistol, actually shoots Anne's husband, I'll be disappointed. A shooting would be too easy an out for this situation. There'd be a trial, Lynette Scavo would mount a mama bear defense, etc. It could easily become unbearable.

I continue to admire the evolution of the Bree Van de Kamp Hodge character, a blend of brittle perfectionism covering for a deeply vulnerable, wounded inner soul. It was a great touch to have Bree be interviewed by a hard-hitting reporter who dug up info on the sordid turns in Bree's life (such as Bree's alcoholism, her deceased husband's unfaithful dedication to bondage with someone else's wife, her gay son who previously lived on the streets, her current husband's incarceration). My favorite moment of the episode arrived close to the end, when Bree said that her old fashioned homemaking/cookbook wasn't meant to make other women feel inadequate, as the reporter had suggested, but was meant to offer them the chance to control some part of their lives (cooking, homemaking) and make it good when everything else is crumbling around them. The scene, along with last week's with Bree and Orson on the test kitchen counter, humanize her.

Your favorite moments from the recent episode? Love or hate the use of the nightclub fire as a plot point? Predictions?

Image credit: ABC.

'Desperate' Mondays: There's Always a Woman

Poor Lynette Scavo.

At least once a season, it seems, Lynette suspects her husband Tom is having an affair, or is having some sort of relationship-altering break-down. Remember that wretched Nora character a few years ago, who was killed during the made-for-sweeps-week grocery store shooting, who'd had a relationship with Tom that pre-dated Lynette and yielded a child named Kayla? Lynette, who'd initially suspected Tom of going to back his old flame, had to then suffer under the torment of Kayla, until Tom finally agreed with Lynette that the girl was troubled and needed to be sent away. (During that same time-frame, Lynette almost had an affair with a Scavos' employee.)

Over the past few episodes of this fifth season of Desperate Housewives, Tom started a garage band, bought an expensive mid-life-crisis mobile, wanted to sell the family restaurant (for which Lynette left her ad exec job to help him run) in order to take a year-long RV tour, and then signed a lease without consulting Lynette for space for his crappy mid-life-crisis band. The latest episode portrayed Tom acting even more immaturely by hiding out from Lynette -- leaving her with restaurant work and parenting to do all on her own -- and playing video games at the band's playing space until the wee hours of the morning.

Throughout the show, it was suggested that Tom was up to more than simply being a childish idiot, particularly when he spied a condom wrapper on the floor of his band's practice space and hid it from Lynette. It was only at the tail-end of the episode that viewers learned that one of Tom and Lynette's teenaged sons was having an affair with a woman old enough to be his mother. But because Tom's been lying and sneaking around, Lynette thinks it's Tom having the affair.

It's enough to make you feel utter fatigue for Lynette, formerly my favorite character on TV. We've been down the I-don't-trust-Tom road before. That's so season two. While the teenage son having an affair with an older woman is a different twist for the Scavos (thought May-December trysts have been done in season one with Gabby and the gardener, and with Danielle Van de Kamp and her high school teacher), I'm growing weary of seeing Lynette jumping to conclusions and having to go through the same, old tired arguments with Tom.

What I did find fresh and new in the latest episode was the Gabby & Carlos Solis story, where Carlos inadvertently gave a rich older client Virginia Hildebrand (played by Six Feet Under's Frances Conroy) an orgasm when he massaged her back. This led to Virginia offering Carlos $50,000/month to accompany her to Europe for a few months. With giant dollar signs in her eyes, Gabby was initially on board with this arrangement . . . until she learned about the orgasm. Her ire was cooled, however, when Virginia offered to take Gabby and the girls to Europe as well, and to pay off Gabby with couture.

This has snappy satire written all over it. The character with the funniest story arc and wittiest lines, by far, is Eva Longoria Parker's Gabby. Neal McDonough's Dave Williams, as Edie Britt's husband, has also added some much-needed spark to Wisteria Lane with his character's mysterious backstory and odd antagonism with Karen McCluskey.

As for the other stories this week -- Susan Mayer's on/off affair with the goofy painter and Katherine Mayfair's fling with the ex-con organ thief -- eh, I'm not too interested. I want more Gabby, more Dave and more authentic Lynette (say, from season one and early season two).

Thoughts on the Lynette-Tom tension? Is it a tired storyline? What's ahead for Gabby and Carlos as they enter into business with Virginia?

Image credit: ABC.