Suburban Mom's Political Fix: Urging Moms to Pay Attention to Health Insurance Reform Debate

This week's Pop Culture and Politics column at Mommy Tracked is all about the health insurance reform debate on Capitol Hill and why it's an important issue for folks to follow. I provide several reasons, including the little anecdote about the Arizona senator who argued against a measure that would've made his insurance company include maternity care as part of a basic insurance package because HE doesn't need it. (This is a senator who is married, has children and whose adult daughter has a child. Yeah, I think the women in his life needed it.) Oh, and the fact that when women who've had C-sections seek to find new insurance policies, in some cases and in some places around the nation, they're told that they have a "pre-existing condition" and denied coverage.

I don't take a specific stance on what health insurance reform bill -- if any -- deserves support, however I do urge the Mommy Tracked readers to "citizen up" and pay closer attention to what's going on and, if they don't like something, tell 'em to speak the heck up about it to their congressman or woman, and senators.

As I detailed which bills are where in the legislative process -- there are several competing health insuracne reform bills in the House and Senate -- I recommended that, if folks were confused about how this whole bill-to-law process works, they should refresh themselves by watching that "I'm Just a Bill" School House Rock video we watched as kids. Couldn't hurt.

Why Do I Like 'New Adventures of Old Christine' But Not 'Cougar Town?'

That's the subject of this week's pop culture & politics column over on Mommy Track'd: How I can find Julia Louis-Dreyfus' kooky, desperate, fortysomething divorced mom on The New Adventures of Old Christine charming but be repelled by Courteney Cox's kooky, desperate, fortysomething divorced mom on Cougar Town. (I also looked at how other divorced moms in their late-30s/40s are portrayed on TV on Brothers & Sisters and Private Practice.)

I think part of the problem is that when I watched the satirical Cougar Town pilot episode (other than loathing the name), I felt as though this was a show about a man's perspective on what life is like for a divorced woman in her 40s, and that she's mocked for being in her situation. Old Christine, on the other hand, takes a woman's perspective and frames Louis-Dreyfus' oddball behavior into a Lucille Ball-type depiction of slapstick humor. Put more simply: When I watched Cougar Town I cringed. When I watched Old Christine's premiere, I laughed.

This clip from the Old Christine premiere reminded me of something you might have seen on I Love Lucy. Christine (Louis-Dreyfus) couldn't get comfortable on an airplane and the airline attendant wouldn't give her a pillow, so she took matters into her own hands:



When I saw this scene from Cougar Town (which came after a scene where Cox was examining her body in the bathroom mirror and finding it lacking in the sexy department), I wasn't laughing.



What do you think of depictions of divorced, fortysomething moms on TV? About Cougar Town, New Adventures of Old Christine?

Column in Which I Tell Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston to "Man Up and Shut Up"

I went a little nutty this week in my Pop Culture & Politics column over on Mommy Track'd.

You see, I was more than a tad annoyed, by Levi Johnston, who dumped all over his kid's family in the October issue of Vanity Fair, and by Jon Gosselin, who has whined to ABC News' Primetime, telling the world that he "despises" the mother of his eight children and that he lost his 20s to childrearing. Cry me a river Jon. None of the pregnancies were accidents. I used to be sympathetic to you, dude. No more.



And as for Levi, the 19-year-old tattletale, what a portrait of class and chivalry, dumping all over his son's grandparents to a national magazine, dishing dirt about Sarah and Todd Palin's sex life and complaining about THEIR parenting, or lack thereof. Yeah you're gonna be a great specimen of parental excellence Levi.

Suburban Mom's Political Fix: Palin's Meta-Working Mom Tale & Women on the Supreme Court

Palin's Meta-Working Mom Tale

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's shocking resignation continues to generate comment, analysis and interest. An image of Palin signing a toddler's dress takes up a third+ of the top half of the front page of the New York Times, 10 days after her ambiguous July 4 Eve press conference. The Times story paints a woman who's feeling so besieged and stressed out that her hair has thinned and her friends worry that she's become underweight.

I joined the fray of analysts and deconstructed Palin's resignation in my Pop Culture column this week by saying that what you think about her and her decision to quit mid-way through her term, depends largely upon your political perspective and your life's experiences. For me, I view her story through a working mom prism.

Women on the Supreme Court

The only female jurist currently sitting on the Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsberg gave a fascinating interview to the New York Times Sunday Magazine in which she talked at length about her experience on the Court and how being female has affected her experience. Among the questions she fielded was about how having only one or two women on the Supreme Court affects deliberation.

When asked why it matters to have women on the Court, Ginsberg invoked the Sotomayor confirmation hearings saying, "It matters for women to be there at the conference table to be doing everything that the court does. I hope that these hearings for Sonia [Sotomayor] will be as civil as mine were and [Justice] Steve Breyer's were. Ours were unusual in that respect."

The exchange below I found particularly intriguing:

New York Times: Did you think that all the attention to the criticism of Sotomayor as being "bullying" or not as smart is sex-inflected? Does that have to do with the rarity of a woman in her position, and the particular challenges?

Ginsberg: I can't say that it was just that she was a woman. There are some people in Congress who would criticize severely anyone President Obama nominated. They'll seize on any handle. One is that she's a woman, another is that she made the remark about Latina women. [In 2001 Sotomayor said: "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."] And I thought it was ridiculous for them to make a big deal out of that. Think of how many times you've said something that you didn't get out quite right, and you would edit your statement if you could. I'm sure she meant no more than what I mean when I say: Yes, women bring a different life experience to the table. All our differences make the conference better. That I'm a woman, that's part of it, that I'm Jewish, that's part of it, that I grew up in Brooklyn, NY, and I went to summer camp in the Adirondacks, all these things are part of me.

Once Justice [Sandra Day] O'Connor was questioning counsel at oral argument. I thought she was done, so I asked a question, and Sandra said: Just a minute, I'm not finished. So I apologized to her and she said: It's okay, Ruth. The guys do it to each other all the time, they step on each other's questions. And then there appeared an item in USA Today, and the headline was something like "Rude Ruth Interrupts Sandra."

Ginsberg is likely to be joined soon by Sotomayor, who's going through the Senate confirmation process where she'll be asked to defend/explain some of her more controversial statements, particularly the Latina woman quip. One thing's for sure, the Court needs women. I cannot imagine what men would say or feel if the highest court in the land didn't have anyone representing the male half of the citizenry.

Image credit: Ruven Afanador/NYT.

Is TLC Exploiting the Disintegrating Jon & Kate Marriage for Ratings?

A couple with eight children is going through an incredibly emotionally wrenching time . . . and this difficult period is being crassly exploited by a national network for ratings. I speak, of course, about Jon and Kate Gosselin, of Jon & Kate Plus 8, the parents of twins and sextuplets who star in a TLC reality show about their lives. For the past several months, the Gosselins have been besieged by paparazzi and have denied reports of marital infidelities and rumors that they're living separate lives as they teeter on the brink of divorce.

After I watched the season premiere of the fifth season of their show last night -- which garnered 9.8 million viewers, a series' high -- I felt like I needed to take a shower. I was heartsick thinking of what those eight kids will think when they grow up and realize that their parents' marriage fell apart in front of a national television audience, never mind if it gets ugly with regards to child custody issues. The premiere felt incredibly manipulative as it pushed the couple way beyond their comfort zones because, as we need to keep remembering, the TLC folks are not on the Gosselins' side. They're on the side of ratings.

I muse about the sadness that is now Jon & Kate Plus 8 in this week's Pop Culture & Politics column on Mommy Track'd.

'In Treatment:' Incredibly Insightful, Incredibly Depressing

I dedicated my Pop Culture & Politics column this week to In Treatment and how, at the root of all the HBO show's patients' problems seems to be flawed parenting, which, as the parent of three young kids, is frightening.

But the drama -- which gives you half-hour glimpses into the therapy sessions of five patients (including the therapist, Paul Weston, himself) -- does more than make me hope that my flawed child-rearing idiosyncrasies aren't going to send my kids to a therapists' sofa in a decade or two. It makes you assess and think about your own life and wonder, "Am I doing THAT? Do I respond to situations like this patient?"

There's a college-aged cancer patient who won't take care of herself and won't tell her family because she doesn't want to burden them, a disgraced CEO with panic attacks and childhood guilt, a couple that's divorcing that has a suffering son who thinks he's responsible for the family's break-up and a fortysomething attorney who's angry that she never got married and had children.

Then there's the therapist, played by the immensely talented, Emmy winning Gabriel Byrne, who lives a lonely life in Brooklyn, while his children and his ex-wife live in Maryland. His oftentimes combative sessions with his therapist, Gina (Dianne Wiest) are, by far, the ones to which I look forward the most each week.

While HBO may have cornered the market on death with its provocative Six Feet Under, and put its stamp on the life of thirtysomething single gals in NYC with Sex and the City, I think the network can now claim the therapy arena as well. In Treatment makes the therapy sessions on other shows look positively amateurish by comparison.

Image credit: HBO.

Suburban Mom's Political Fix: Covering the Obamas

There's nothing wrong with noticing that the Obama children are exceptionally cute. It's also reasonable to suggest that the prospect of seeing the girls playing on the White House lawn with their new puppy Bo or swinging on their new swingset outside Dad's office would be a welcome respite from the dour economic news to which we've been treated for the past several months. More than once I've heard and read political pundits likening the White House photos of 10-year-old Malia and 7-year-old Sasha to photos from the Camelot days a generation ago of Caroline and John Kennedy.

As long as media coverage is respectfully restrained and the Obama girls aren't hounded and don't have everything that's on or near their bodies catalogued (like tracking down the makers of their clothing, backpacks, toys, etc.). There was a degree of media restraint afforded Chelsea Clinton when the 12-year-old accompanied her parents to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in 1993, but that was still in the pre-blog days, so I remain skeptical that the media can or will exercise such decorum when it comes to the First Kids.

But what has already exceeded decorum and has veered into the arena of tiresome is the coverage given to Michelle Obama, an Ivy League educated lawyer and former hospital executive, a woman with something substantive to say on many subjects. Last month I examined the type of media coverage Michelle Obama was receiving -- including the odd, fetish-like obsession with her bare arms -- in a column which noted that during the span of two weeks, the First Lady was on the cover of four national magazines.

And that was before the G-20 summit in London and the Obamas' trip abroad. Before phrases such as "fashion faceoff" were uttered and the media pit Michelle Obama with the spouse of the French president, as if the women's clothing was competing against one another. Before so-called news media outlets started running slideshows on their web sites of Michelle Obama's outfits and discussing wearing stilettos versus flat shoes on national NEWS programs.

After a week's worth of fluffy, insipid news coverage, I was steamed. My irritation yielded this week's Pop Culture and Politics column over on Mommy Track'd in which I satirically imagine what it would be like if the male leaders' attire was subjected to the type of media scrutiny that their spouses' duds, where the media pay lavish attention to pumps, not the policies and causes the women try to spotlight. How I wish the media would treat these women as women of substance, not as walking mannequins that they want to dress up in designer duds.

Image credit: Huffington Post.

'Big Love's' Roman is Really Dead, Show Creator Says

Following Big Love's season three finale, I speculated in this space about whether the sinister, self-appointed "prophet" of Juniper Creek, Roman Grant had REALLY died after being smothered by a pillow at the hands of Joey Henrickson.

According to Big Love co-creator Will Scheffer, Roman (Harry Dean Stanton) is indeed dead, as dead as Lipstick Jungle.

"Roman is 100 percent, absolutely, completely dead," Scheffer told the Los Angeles Times' Show Tracker blog. "There's no trick in terms of, he was pretending to be dead, or it was a hallucination. He is gone. His spirit has left the earth . . . No one can bring him back from the dead."

Well, okay then, with that issue settled, what else did Scheffer have to say about season four? J.J. (Zeljko Ivanek) -- Nicki's first husband played by the same actor who's hunting down those folks with superpowers on Heroes -- will become a series regular. For those who wondered why the third Henrickson child, Teenie, was largely absent from the tail-end of the third season, particularly in the pivotal "Sacrament" scene in which the Church of Bill was created, Scheffer said, ". . . [When] we left her out of the sacrament at the end of the season finale, we were doing so on purpose . . . We will deal with that this coming season."

Over on Mommy Track'd, my column this week focuses on how watching Big Love, and the Showtime drama United States of Tara both make me thankful that my life bears no resemblance to the lives of the women on these shows.

Image credit: HBO.

Amid Economic Scandals and a Downer Dow, Bring on the Funny TV Gals

I don't know about you, but -- Lost and 24 aside -- I've really been in the mood for some comedic TV fare lately. With news outlets overflowing with stories about AIG bonus rage, back-tax-owing-federal-bailout-recipients and pass-the-buck-finger-pointing coming from the Obama administration and lawmakers, I certainly need to laugh at something other than 401K statements.

That's why I devoted this week's Pop Culture and Politics column on Mommy Track'd to TV's female comedians who are really delivering the funny these days. With the April issue of Marie Claire making the bold declaration that "funny women are having a moment," the timing couldn't be better.

Among the women I highlighted was 30 Rock's Tina Fey, whose kooky Liz Lemon's odd behavior consistently makes me smile . . . speaking of Lemon, tonight's new 30 Rock features the last installment of the Jon Hamm as Dr. Drew Baird story arc.

Random fact I learned after watching an excerpt of Fey's appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: That fabulous line, "I want to go to there" that Liz Lemon directed toward Jon Hamm's character was the genius of Fey's 3-year-old daughter Alice, uttered while Alice was looking at the Disney World web site.

Image credit: Jessica Miglio/NBC via TV Guide.

Coraline & Work-from-Home Parents

Took my twin 10-year-olds to see the dark, animated film Coraline recently, and was thrilled to learn that my kids took a good message away from it: You should be grateful for what you've got, parent-wise. (At least they SAID that's what they took away from it. They could've been playin' me, who knows?)

The movie features an 11-year-old girl, Coraline Jones, who's frustrated that her work-from-home writer parents don't make her the center of their universe and are too busy working all the time. When Coraline's given the opportunity to visit an alternative world, where her mom and dad appear to be the perfect parents who dote on her and serve all manner of goodness her way, she learns that there's a sinister side to getting everything you think you desire.

I wrote about the film, and my fourth graders' reactions to it, in my recent Pop Culture & Politics column.

Have you seen Coraline? What'd you think?

'Mad Men' & 'Revolutionary Road:' A Sisterhood of Suburban Misery?

I walked into the film Revolutionary Road (starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio) with the notion in my head that it would be very similar to Mad Men. When it wasn't -- tones were vastly different, characters motivated by different things, etc. -- I thought that my frame of reference was off, that I shouldn't be comparing the film and the TV program.

But once I started watching Mad Men's first season again on DVD, it smacked me in the face: The two female leads, Kate Winslet's April Wheeler and January Jones' Betty Draper, had comparable, soul-crushing experiences. Both were college educated, had lived in cities, had careers and then . . . the melancholy settled in. My weekly Pop Culture & Politics column over on Mommy Track'd compares the two characters.

Image credits: Long Island Press and AMC.

Cuddy's Got New Mom Angst on 'House'

Cuddy + New Baby = Angst . . . at least on the Fox show House, which dealt very bluntly and realistically in its past few episodes with the scary, not-so-nice feelings that sometimes accompany parenthood.

I dedicated this week's Pop Culture & Politics column to Dr. Lisa Cuddy's transition from being a single-minded, high-powered career gal, to being a career gal with a new baby.

Image credit: Fox/Adam Taylor via this web site.

Suburban Mom's Political Fix: A Few Last Words on Caroline Kennedy's Failed Senate Bid

Caroline Kennedy exited the odd campaign for the U.S. Senate -- where the only person whose vote was required was New York Gov. David Paterson's who'd be appointing Hillary Clinton's replacement -- was ugly and odd.

While I was pleased to see an active work-life balancer in the form of 42-year-old Kirsten Gillibrand get the nod (she has a 5-year-old and a baby, to whom she gave birth during her second year as a Congresswoman), I was saddened by the collapse of the Kennedy bid.

I opined on the subject at length in my weekly Mommy Track'd column.

Image credit: New York Magazine.

'Lipstick Jungle' and 'Marley & Me'

Two new columns:

1. Lipstick Jungle. Friday marked the airing of the last original episode for Brooke Shields & Co. that's already been filmed. NBC execs say they'll wait to see how the ratings were for the last few new episodes (including DVR stats) before determining if the Lipstick gals get the boot. I make the case in this column for why I've joined the Lipstick Jungle bandwagon.

2. Marley & Me. Last week I went to see Marley & Me and regretted the fact that I didn't bring a box of tissues with me. Seriously. Sturdy. Tissues. Think everyone in the theater was sniffling. Don't worry, no spoilers here from me. But a new column I've written about the Jennifer Aniston/Owen Wilson film does do a little bit of spoiling about the mom and work subplot in the movie that doesn't get a lot of ink.

Image credit: NBC.

Suburban Mom's Political Fix: Give Michelle Obama Some Space

After watching the Democratic national convention this summer, and, in particular, Michelle Obama's speech, I was inspired to write a column for Mommy Track'd, about how Michelle had apparently been advised/coached/requested to play down her career achievements -- about which she'd previously spoken at length -- and emphasize traditional First Lady-type issues, like being a mom and wife:

"Michelle Obama’s speech, executed warmly with aplomb, was a Hallmark card to the voters. ('. . . I come here as a wife who loves my husband and believes he will be an extraordinary president. And I come here as a mom whose girls are the heart of my heart and the center of my world. They are the first things that I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night.') And, although I’m as much of a sucker for bittersweet, touching family stories as the next gal -- I adore watching the Obamas with their two spunky daughters -- as I watched the convention, I felt as though some of the regalness and the strength that we saw from Michelle: The Primary Season had been replaced by a new version, Michelle: The General Election Edition. While the color of her dress was bright, her tone was somewhat muted. She’d been Lifetime-televisionized."

But I also noted something I'd observed earlier in the campaign, that no matter what any of the female spouses of the presidential candidates (Bill Clinton, obviously, was excluded from this discussion) did regarding their careers, they were screwed. If they were too career-oriented or seemed too tough or smart, they were portrayed as scary and threatening, not a good supporter for the next potential president (think Teresa Heinz Kerry). If they were too soft and maternal, talking about baking cookies and childrearing, they were criticized for being anti-feminists who were setting back the women's movement. If they tried to balance their roles like many of us do -- like hospital executive/attorney Michelle Obama did during the primaries with an assist from her mother -- they were likewise pilloried.

Now that the election is over and Michelle Obama has proclaimed that she plans to be "mom-in-chief" first, stories and blog items have continued to lament the fact that Michelle Obama is blowing this chance to advance the cause of working moms, as in this from the Boston Globe: "Obama's decision to be foremost the 'first mom' potentially sends a wrong message: that high-level paid work and motherhood don't mix, or that women need to be the ones to step down to care for family." And, as someone who did lament that Michelle Obama had to shelve a part of herself (talking about her career) during the general election, I feel nothing but frustration when I read these stories, coupled by sadness that women in the political spotlight still can't just be themselves.

This recent New York Times piece demonstrated that there's no way Obama can win when it comes to what she chooses to do as First Lady:

"The unsolicited advice reflects the passionate debate stirring among working mothers here and abroad as they watch Mrs. Obama finalize her transition from hospital executive to self-proclaimed mom-in-chief in the White House. While Mrs. Obama has publicly embraced her soon-to-be assumed role as first lady, many women remain deeply divided over whether she will become a pioneer or a dispiriting symbol of the limitations of modern working motherhood."

I'm a big believer in letting people do what they feel is best for them and their families and it really irritates me when people jump all over candidates' wives or even the candidate herself (in the case of Sarah Palin, mom of five, who dared run for vice president), who also happen to be parents of small children, and lambaste them no matter what choices they make:

"How about you make your own, personal and career decisions. I’ll make mine. [Sarah] Palin, [Michelle] Obama and [Elizabeth] Edwards will make theirs," I wrote in Parents & Kids Magazine. "And we’ll just agree that we don’t all see eye-to-eye on work and parenthood and that we all stand alone in our own shoes. If the mothers who are so quick to attack one another’s choices would instead channel their energies into something other than insulting one another, think of all the time that’d be left to do something more constructive."

As we get closer to Inauguration Day, I hope that people will give Michelle Obama some space and let her carve out her own path instead of trying to dictate her life's journey to her.

Image credit: Jae C. Hong/Associated Press/Boston Globe.

New Kids on the Pennsylvania Ave Block

I had a new column published on Mommy Track'd this afternoon about having very young First Kids in the White House.

References John-John and Caroline Kennedy during the Kennedy years, Amy Carter and Chelsea Clinton.

Image credit: Associated Press/New York Daily News.

Suburban Mom's Political Fix: More on Palin Clothes, EW on TV Presidents and Funny Video

I blogged in this space last week about how I didn't think it was fair play to attack GOP VP nominee Sarah Palin for the $150,000 of designer clothing that the Republican National Committee purchased on her behalf. In this week's Pop Culture and Politics column at Mommy Track'd I expounded on the issue saying that women politicians are in a no-win situation when it comes to how they're viewed fashion-wise, as the scrutiny they face about their appearance is much harsher than that of the male pols.


Meanwhile, in this week's Entertainment Weekly, the writers did what they do best: View the presidential election through the lens of TV. EW's Kate Ward examined TV presidents by how old or young they were (youngest, Patty Duke, 38, from Hail to the Chief; oldest, Martin Sheen, 59, from The West Wing). She also looked at the fictional presidents' screen time. Sheen logged the most time on TV with 154 hours of portraying President Jed Bartlet, and Duke had the least with only 210 minutes.

And with the election less than a week away, my gal pal Gayle e-mailed me a video, which she personalized for me, that looks like a cable news network segment which blamed me for failing to vote for Obama, thereby sealing a McCain victory. As I watched the video, I couldn't stop thinking about how shrewd a move it was for whichever Obama supporter created it, because it's spreading so virally. I also received it from a colleague of my husband's. (Link to the video here.) Will it prompt anyone to vote? Who knows? But it's very savvy.

Stalking 'thirtysomething'

A stalker.

That's what my editor at Mommy Track'd called me . . . a thirtysomething stalker, to be more exact. But given that she too is a fan of the late-1980s drama about yuppies living in the Philly 'burbs, I didn't take it personally.

While messing around on YouTube recently, I discovered that a benevolent soul (or more than one benevolent soul) has uploaded dozens of thirtysomething episodes onto the web site, broken up into small chunks. And it was through this web site that -- after waiting for nearly the entire decade of my 30s to watch this show through a mother's eyes (the show was never released on VHS or DVD and hasn't been on the air in a very long time) -- I was finally able to watch the first season and write a column about how its portrayal of suburban parenthood has held up over the past 20 years. (My verdict: Very well, except for the shoulder-padded, extra large 1980s blazers worn by the women.)

So while the folks who created/distributed the much-heralded show refuse to release it on DVD, the only option for fans like me is YouTube. Thank goodness for YouTube.